Somewhere between Valentine's Day and my 30th birthday this year I had the most fabulous vodka water cocktail, and then another and another and thus "vodka confessions" was born.
The night is a little fuzzy so I'll start at the beginning...
It was a love that happened very fast and was rather intense. Just like Alice I fell into the rabbit hole and continues to fall - hitting "I love you" and spiraling when the love stopped. He was older, divorced. I was young and carefree. I have no regrets about our time together - love that happens that intense and fast is destined to fail and I'm sure if I'd paid attention to my horoscope it would have told me the exact same thing. Eventually I hit the ground, single, and dusted myself off - ready for the next bout of love to hit.
And then Adele happened.
In the years since our breakup we have stayed in touch - checking in here and there. It isn't a friendship but it is what I assume is a sense of what real love is once it's "over". He has since moved into a creepy cabin in the hills with a new love and I have stayed in the city with my dog. Somewhere between Valentine's day and my 30th birthday I was no longer ok with this scenario...
And then vodka happened.
I should mention that it was a typical night. I'd enjoyed a run. Had salmon for dinner. Watched a silly romantic comedy and then I woke up the next morning and texted one of my best friends: "I think I Facebook messaged my ex a YouTube video of Adele" I had in fact Facebook messaged said video. It is probably wise to mention we aren't Facebook friends. Not only did I have to search for this fabulous video about moving on from a broken heart, I had to Facebook stalk said ex. The best part was my message with the video: "Don't read into this, but I kind of look like her"
Oh vodka and Adele - you are horrible friends. If I didn't love you both so much we would be divorced by now.
My only option was to laugh at myself, naturally. My friends laughed with me and the ex had to have laughed too - he wrote back to my message but I'm too chicken to read it. When asked how much vodka I'd had that night I had to, pitifully, admit that I had no idea...it was somewhere between dancing to Diana Ross and singing to Adele.
That day vodka taught me that if you can't laugh at yourself you have no business laughing at all - life lessons like these make me glad I didn't break up with vodka (or Adele).